Thursday, January 10, 2008

If we dated a candidate

They say dating is like a job interview. I think running for political office is a bit like that as well. As the various Republican and Democrats travel back and forth across the country selling themselves we get a peak at to what kind of person they would be on a date. I am basing this more on the image they present themselves on the campaign trail and not so much about their own personal lives. Although it several cases there will be obvious overlaps. Let’s start with the Republicans and switch over to the Democrats.

Mitt Romney’s actual story is pretty boring. Married young and is still married to the same woman and is the consummate family man. The image we get of what Romney is trying to sell to the country is different. He strikes me as the flashy corporate shark with the expensive suits, fancy sports car, and upscale yuppie condo. Oh sure he would be a fun date, because he will spend lots money. You will go to all the fancy restaurants and Broadway shows. He will wine and dine you all over town. However for all the flash and cash it does not cover up the fact that he is kind of dweeby. He has great hair and winning smile, but there is something missing. He just does not really connect with you. Besides you get the feeling he spends more time and money on his hair than you do.

Rudy Giuliani’s personal story and approach to running is a lot closer to each other, because Rudy is all about Rudy. All the people running have big egos but Rudy takes that to a new level. He is a New Yorker and like most New Yorkers he knows some people will get him and some people will not. Rudy is trying to get enough people to vote for him. However in Rudy’s case dating might not be the right comparison. Rudy has tried to be the sunny Reagany optimistic guy that Romney does so well, but in reality he is the mob thug dealing with the corner shop owner. It would be a shame if something bad happened to your nice country if you didn’t elect me president. So not exactly dating more like some creepy sexual harassment boss with the bad combover.

To me Fred Thompson’s approach to the campaign is the most interesting. The whole idea for this piece started with a conversation about Fred. He has come out and said he does like the process of running for president. He wants to be president, but is not really all that interested in actually doing the work to become president. So what kind of date does that make. Fred wants to get right to the good stuff. Come on honey lets have a good time we don’t have to go out or anything. Sorry buddy a six pack of bud and bag of pork rinds does not get it. People like to be wooed. So far the people are saying hold on there big fella, not so fast, you have win me over before I give it up.

Mike Huckabee is like that guy in your office that you do not know really well. You know he is religious and usually has funny joke or story to tell in the break room. He seems like a nice enough guy so you go out on a date with him because it may be fun. He probably can’t afford the fancy restaurant like that hot shot guy in sales. Mike takes you to this homey family diner with the real good fried chicken. There is something you like about him but are not sure if he is the one.

John McCain has been through this before he had a chance to become president in 2000, but the combination W, Karl Rove and McCain himself sunk his chances then. Then McCain was the front-runner last summer but his bloated campaign imploded and forced him to go renegade. He is the man who has had a business that went bust in a very big and public way. He was humbled but refused to give up and all he is saying now is give me a chance. He may be that person you dated a long time ago and it did not go so well. Maybe he lost his temper at the wrong time. Now that some time has passed you might be willing to give him a second chance, but you are not sure part of you likes him and part of you is a bit creeped out by him.

Then there is Ron Paul. Unless something very strange happens Ron Paul will not win the nomination much less the White House. But unlike Duncan Hunter, Paul’s campaign is garnering a lot of buzz largely from the huge amount of interest generated on the internet. Dating Ron Paul would be like going out with a really opinionated person. Unlike Romney who will say all the things you want to hear, Ron Paul will tell you exactly what is on his mind. The success or failure of the date depends on how much you agree with the person. Chances are you will agree with some things and not with others. Unlike most of the other Republicans the date will not be boring.

Now it is the Democrats turn and I will start with Hillary. Being the only the woman in the race it is a little different to look at Hillary. However one of the things that strikes me about Hillary is that she has been hurt before and that means that she is very selective about what people see of her. People that are close to Hillary say that she is very warm and personable but it is not a side the public sees very often. This has caused problems because the public thinks she is some kind of unfeeling robot. The date with Hillary has been a date on her terms and has been good at times and awkward at times. Maybe it is because of her feminist roots or maybe it is that she has "dated" some jerks in the past and is afraid of getting hurt again. She has tried to warm up and show us a different side but it is difficult.

Barack Obama is a sensation. He burst onto the scene with an amazing speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention, and has been on the rise since then. Obama is like Kurt Cobain unknown to huge rock star in a matter of months. We known more about him now, but there is still this fascination about him. America so far has been dazzled and star struck by Obama. He is inspired people like few politicians have in recent years. So he is the suddenly famous rock star and you are along for the ride with him. Everything is going great but you wonder in the back if your mind if it will last.

John Edwards has alternated between suave southern gentleman and hard-edged street preacher. I think he started out with the more genteel approach, but with the attention going to Clinton and Obama he has become more extreme in his approach. He is the guy trying to date the girl that is above his class and the more he tries the more indifferent she becomes or worse yet goes into great detail about her new guy.

Bill Richardson is about to drop out but I came up with comparison for him so I will write it anyway. Because to me Richardson is the classic lets just be friends. A really nice guy that you have a good time with on few dates, but after that he is just not what you looking for. You might give him a call down the road some time.

Dennis Kucinich is still in the race and has absolutely no chance to win. He is the guy in the bar with the wide collars and leisure suit but everyone else is wearing Armani and Brooks Brothers. Every once in awhile he says something interesting but for the most part is ignored.

1 comment:

Dabney said...

Funny, and probably more accurate than we would like it to be. Welcome back to the blog world.